So there was work getting accomplished (I got a screenplay into The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, I was almost done editing my biotechnology documentary and that kind of thing) and then something else happened.
And then it ended and it amazes how horrible it feels to even consider that despite the fact I know to an absolute certainty it is done and there’s no going back and I don’t know what I want but I know what I have to do so that simplifies things except it really does not.
Consciously, I am trying to focus on not repeatedly asking “how did I let this happen?” .. I should be asking, “how do I avoid this kind of mess in the future?”
But it isn’t quite that easy
It never is after being that deep with someone.
Both the beauty and the horror of it all
“I will never be clean again.” ~ The Figurehead
The Cure; Pornography, 1982